July 17th, 2007 by admin

I Wanna Go Home!
When Your Child is in the Hospital

In my childcare book The Portable Pediatrician, I talk about the emotional meaning of hospitalization for children of each age group from Birth to Five. (It’s in the “What If” section of each age-based chapter, along with such challenges as parental divorce, death of a pet, arrival of a new sibling, and so on.) While I still stand by that advice, there have been three big changes since then when it comes to keeping children as safe and as comfortable as possible: Read the rest of this entry »

June 30th, 2007 by admin

Younger Children’s Reaction to Death
by Charlotte M. Mathes, LCSW, Ph.D.
Author of And a Sword Shall Pierce Your Heart

Because children grieve differently from adults, they may appear not to be mourning at all. One adult client confessed her long held guilt that as a child, the day her sister died, she went to a neighbor’s to play. This woman has been mourning her sister’s death for thirty years. With help, she recalled how bad she felt about her sister’s death, even though she chose to play. Children often resume play even while hurting inside. They need more physical activity to release their strong emotions. Having a shorter attention span, they also require frequent respite from their grief and will often alternate short periods of mourning with pursuing other interests.

Children’s reactions to death are also influenced by their concept of its finality, an understanding that progresses as they pass through successive developmental stages. In the early years, supposing death reversible, children believe a brother or sister will return and are not likely to be devastated. They attribute the imagined return of life to the good effects of ambulances, hospitals, or doctors who will magically revive the deceased. Read the rest of this entry »