Definitions For Parents

Definitions For Parents 

AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labour to make love again. 
       
DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. 
       
FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster. 
       
FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots. 
       
FULL NAME: What you call your child when you’re mad at him/her 
       
GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right. 
       
HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word. 
       
IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labour is still vivid. 
       
INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say. 
       
OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings. 
       
PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it. 
       
SHOW OFF: A child who is more talented than yours. 
       
STERILIZE: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it. 
       

TOP BUNK: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas. 
       
TWO MINUTE WARNING: When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make   those familiar grunting noises. 
       
VERBAL: Able to whine in words. 
       
WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house… 

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