Author of Better By Mistake: The Unexpected Benefits of Being Wrong
It’s crucial that we, as parents, allow our children to make mistakes and fail and figure out how to recover from them. We can’t rush in and fix every problem, whether it be forgotten homework, an awkward social encounter or not getting a part in the school play.
We know from research that building children’s self-esteem and self-worth is much less about praise and gold stars and trophies for everyone and much more about creating resilience. Children who know how to screw up and fail and try again.
“While we do not want our children to face ongoing failure, to attempt to overprotect them and rush in whenever we fear they might fail at a task robs them of an important lesson, namely that mistakes are experiences from which to learn,” writes Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein in their book Nurturing Resilience in Our Children. “It also communicates another subtle or perhaps not-so-subtle message to a child: We don’t think you are strong enough to deal with obstacles and mistakes.” Read the rest of this entry »
By Dr. John Duffy,
Author of The Available Parent: Radical Optimism for Raising Teens and Tweens
We are on vacation in Florida with another family. Three young teenagers are on board, my 13-year-old included. A number of times over the past week, I have peered over to see each of their beautiful faces lost in a 3 ½ inch screen: a Nintendo DS, iPhone, iPod Touch, or any other thing!
One might be texting friends back home, another might be selecting a new song, while yet another is playing the latest downloaded game. There they were in the car last night, screens lighting their faces. There they were on the couch, in front of the giant TV screen! Even in bed, all faces illuminated, eyes entranced.
So how is a parent to counteract the draw of the tiny, sophisticated, intoxicating hand-held plaything? Read the rest of this entry »
By Howard Zehr and Lorraine Stutzman Amstutz,
Author of “What Will Happen To Me?”
Children need time to adjust to the separation caused by having a parent in prison. But it takes more than time. As we have heard in their voices, children also need to make sense of what has happened to them and to their parent or parents. Because of this, they have many questions.
Some of the questions they ask are straightforward. But sometimes their questions come out indirectly or in their challenging behavior. Incarcerated parents, as well as caregivers of children or other adults in their lives, often have to answer their uncomfortable questions. Read the rest of this entry »
Did you know 160,000 kids miss school every day out of fear of being bullied? The recent cases of young people who have tragically ended their lives because they were so badly bullied are a painful example that there is a serious problem in America today. There is no better time than the present to start changing these statistics…and we can do so through education!
By Jilliane Hoffman,
Author of Pretty Little Things
Last December, New York’s Attorney General Andrew Cuomo announced that more than 3500 registered sex offenders had been purged from the social networking sites Facebook and MySpace in the state’s first database sweep for sexual predators.
That’s 3500 caught, convicted and registered sex offenders who’d actually used their real names when they signed up for a Facebook or MySpace page. That’s not counting all the deviants that haven’t yet been busted, pled to a lesser charge, had charges dropped, never registered their emails with their probation or parole officers, socially communicate using an alias, or live outside the Empire State. With that in mind, consider this sobering statistic: According to the Center for Sex Offender Management (CSOM), the average sex offender offends for 16 years before he’s finally caught. In that time span, he has committed an average of 318 offenses and violated 110 victims.
